All the franchise staples back in 'Die Another Day'

From North Korea, to Hong Kong, Havana, London, Iceland, and back, the new Bond flick, Die Another Day, offers all the things we've come to expect from the franchise. Explosions, chase scenes, nifty gadgets, intense fight sequences, hot cars, elaborate sets, devious villains, and double entendres all make appearances.

Pierce Brosnan once again plays the lead as the charismatic British MI6 agent, 007. Halle Berry co-stars as a comrade from the NSA who has a whole slew of aliases. The only constant name that I picked up was "Jinx".

The two are in league against a diamond-studded bad guy named Zao, played pretty damned well by Rick Yune, whom you may remember from The Fast and the Furious as the guy with the souped-up S2000.

On the beach of a Cuban resort, Mr. Bond first feasts his eyes on the healthy and quick-drying Jinx. She emerges from the crystal blue Cuban waters wearing a bathing suit that is very reminiscent of the one worn by Ursula Andress in Dr. No. Bond makes his move. Sipping from the same Mojito (a tasty Cuban mixed drink worth trying), they hit it off in the classic double-oh style.

It is in Cuba that we find out two things; a billionaire playboy named Gustav Graves (Toby Stevens) may have some sort of connection to this Zao character, and Jinx can make a bomb out of the new Sony/Ericsson cell phone.

On the trail of Gustav, which leads us to London, we are introduced to his fencing instructor who is played by none other than Madonna. Now her new video for the title song almost makes sense. I never want to see her in another movie -- ever again. I mean it. It's as though she was only given one take to get her lines right, and the director just said, "Okay, that's fabulous, Madonna, let's move on." I know she's already famous and everything, but if she insists on acting, might it be possible for her to spring for some acting lessons? Sweet Jesus.

We also meet a Ms. Frost (Rosamund Pike), who we learn is a fellow MI6 agent. She is well-aware of Mr. Bond's reputation as a loose cannon and a womanizer, and does not look forward to working with him — or so it would seem.

By the favor of the fencing instructor the gentlemen meet. Graves invites Bond to spar with him. Gustav is pretty well proving his fencing superiority until Jimmy says something a little silly to Gusty. Then things get a little more interesting.

What follows is what I'd have to call one of the best sword fights I've seen in a while. This isn't like a light saber fight in one of the new Star Wars movies, and this isn't any Crouching Tiger, Hidden floaty-guy. This is an all-out, "I want to cut you and I don't care what I use to get the job done" kind of fight.

Gustav is so impressed with Bond's performance that he invites him to Iceland for the demonstration of his new project, code named Icarus. This is to be held in a palace of ice, made specifically for the event. This construct resembles a cross between the Sydney Opera House and Superman's Fortress of Solitude — an impressive structure, indeed.

Obviously, a trek to Iceland calls for an assemblage of secret agent gadgets. Strolling through an underground MI6 compound, we're treated to the sight of many an old device that Bond has had the pleasure of using in previous films. This scene was a lot of fun because it looked as though the items on screen were the actual props used in the classic movies. The boot knife that we saw in From Russia With Love, the rocket pack from Thunderball, and even Halle Berry as the diving knife-toting, bikini-clad vixen are as much an homage to Bond heritage as is the next topic…

God save the queen, the Aston Martin reclaims its spot as the vaunted Bond car. Bond drives to the ice palace in the Q-modified Aston Martin V12 Vanquish. The new Vanquish makes a stunning debut as the British brand's Bavarian-bumping supercar, and at long last, Bond is driving on the right side of the car again. Plus, it's got some slick gizmos.

At the ice palace and on its surrounding properties is where some of the best action in this movie takes place. Between the physics-defying "para-surfing," the vicious Icarus Jiffy-Pop satellite, and Halle saying "Yo' mama!" you've got no reason to miss this show.

4 Triangles